Skip to main content

Renee Zellwegger rebrands us

Can we get our money back?

If there's any justice in this world there has to be a warranty on brands that go bad.

A bad brand is like a nickname that ruins your life. "Hey, Stinky, how's it goin'?"

And we're stuck with a cropper.

A few years ago the tall foreheads of Gary Doer's economic development committee decided Manitoba needed a new image---fast. They hired a new york company called InterBrand which claimed to be the experts in the field, having come up with sharp, slick slogans for cities and countries around the world.

Two million dollars later the Gotham geniuses unveilled their creation. Ta daaa….Manitoba would henceforth be known as the home of Spirited Energy.


Yep, think New Coke, the Edsel, the Hindenberg (the finest in transportation anywhere).

It was so soul-less and artificial it looked, sounded and smelled like a something created by a committee---which is exactly what it was.

Stage One of the reveal was sell-it-to-the-locals. That went so disastrously the province scrubbed Stage Two, tell-it-to-the-world. They're still trying to salvage what they can from the multi-million dollar boondoggle, so we're stuck with a redesigned provincial symbol and a psychedelic squiggle background to all provincial advertising.

The old-style, Disney-like buffalo has been replaced with a sharper, bigger, blacker cousin because nothing says "here's a great place to live" better than a mean looking animal looking for trouble. The trippy squiggle on the other hand says "look, they're stuck in the Sixties. Groovy, man."

So why bring it up now?

Because we're being re-rebranded.
Today.
For free.

Movie stars Rene Zellwegger and Harry Connick Jr. are on a cross-country (U.S.) press tour to sell their just released romantic comedy New In Town, which was partially shot in Winnipeg. It opens in theatres everywhere today.

The reviews are less than warm; nobody in the U.S. today finds the shutting down of a factory in a small town amusing. So the interviews with the stars eventually slide into funny anecdotes about Winnipeg, more specifically how hellishly cold, brutally cold, and criminally cold Winnipeg is.

"I didn't realize that 'Yes, you really do need the coat that looks like a duvet.' Everyone was walking around in their Herman Munster boots, and I'd laugh. 'They look like Gene Simmons, 10 inches off the ground!' But you NEED them," Zellwegger told Orlando Sentinel.

"Why do you live in that town? Let's just be real, it's not human to live in a town like that, you know what I'm saying? That's just crazy cold. Don't go to Winnipeg between October and March," joked Connick in L.A.

Flush. Whoooooosh...With one sentence, $2 million down the drain.

Spirited Energy was supposed to replace Frigging Cold as Manitoba's world image. It didn't stand a chance. Because everyone in Winnipeg and in Manitoba knows that Connick is telling the truth. And nobody is laughing harder at the Winnipeg cold stories than us.

You can't rebrand Cyrano de Bergerac by talking up his wit and charm and hoping people don't notice his honker. Winnipeg is the Cyrano city. Manitoba is the Big Nose province.

Way back when, The Black Rod tried to decipher Interbrand's method for inventing a brand.
http://blackrod.blogspot.com/2005/11/new-brand-for-ed-schreyer-and-one-for.html


Check it out. You'll be surprised how closely we called it---the re-rebrand, that is.

The premier's economic advisory committee demonstrated their acumen by wasting a whack of money denying the obvious.

Interbrand gave them what they wanted, then took the money and ran.

But, it didn't have to be that way.

One of Interbrand's methods is to use the obvious---with a little sugar and a little spin. What if…

What if they had looked at something as obvious as the cold but with more potential. It was right there in front of their faces, like, well, Cyrano's nose.

Can you spot it in this excerpt from a story in the Boston Globe?

But Winnipeggers say there's more to their city than frigid temperatures
By Linda Matchan
Globe Staff / February 27, 2005

''We have had this constant stigma in the marketplace, in the community, nationally, and internationally as a place that is boring, is freezing cold, and full of mosquitoes," says Ash Modha, a Winnipeg businessman who co-chairs the Premier's Economic Advisory Committee's Image Task Force, which is overseeing the effort.

''Two of them are true -- the cold and mosquitoes," Modha says.

''We can do larvaciding to fix the mosquitoes, but we can't do anything about the cold, and that's the bottom line. . . . We keep getting hit with the same stigma of cold, cold, cold."

The province and its capital would like to temper that image and convert it to cool. This doesn't come naturally to humble Winnipeggers, despite the city's wealth of assets, not least of which is a population so friendly the provincial license plate reads ''Friendly Manitoba."

Winnipeggers' relentless pleasantness can seem almost surreal to a Bostonian. A real-life experience, in December:
Visitor to random department store clerk: ''Could you tell me where I could find a telephone?"
Clerk: ''The pay phones are around the corner, but would you like to use mine?"

That's right. Our brand could have been the warm hearts of Manitobans. Friendly Manitobans. Friendly like you won't find anywhere else on the continent. Our hearts creating an oasis of warmth in a sea of cold.

But here, from the same Boston Globe article, is what the government braintrust thought of that:

''We want to create a brand new progressive image rather than friendly Manitoba," says Modha. ''That's basically been the promotion for years. We are friendly, but we are more than just friendly. There's a lot more to the province than being friendly."

Instead they stuck us with a slogan and image so pitiful that anyone using it without the proper derision might as well be branded on the forehead with a big 'L' for Loooooser.

Can we get our money back? Surely someone knows where the receipt is.

Popular posts from this blog

The unreported bombshell conspiracy evidence in the Trudeau/SNC-Lavelin scandal

Wow. No, double-wow. A game-changing bombshell lies buried in the supplementary evidence provided to the House of Commons Judiciary Committee by former Attorney General Jody Wilson-Raybould. It has gone virtually unreported since she submitted the material almost a week ago. As far as we can find, only one journalist-- Andrew Coyne, columnist for the National Post--- has even mentioned it and even then he badly missed what it meant, burying it in paragraph 10 of a 14 paragraph story. The gist of the greatest political scandal in modern Canadian history is well-known by now. It's bigger than Adscam, the revelation 15 years ago that prominent members of the Liberal Party of Canada and the party itself funneled tens of millions of dollars in kickbacks into their own pockets from federal spending in Quebec sponsoring ads promoting Canadian unity. That was just venal politicians and a crooked political party helping themselves to public money. The Trudeau-Snc-Lavalin scandal is...

Crips and Bloodz true cultural anchors of Winnipeg's aboriginal gangs

(Bebo tribute page to Aaron Nabess on the right, his handgun-toting friend on the left) At least six murder victims in Winnipeg in the past year are linked to a network of thuglife, gangster rap-styled, mainly aboriginal street gangs calling themselves Crips and Bloods after the major black gangs of L.A. The Black Rod has been monitoring these gangs for several months ever since discovering memorial tributes to victim Josh Prince on numerous pages on Bebo.com, a social networking website like Myspace and Facebook. Josh Prince , a student of Kildonan East Collegiate, was stabbed to death the night of May 26 allegedly while breaking up a fight. His family said at the time he had once been associated with an unidentified gang, but had since broken away. But the devotion to Prince on sites like Watt Street Bloodz and Kingk Notorious Bloodz (King-K-BLOODZ4Life) shows that at the time of his death he was still accepted as one of their own. Our searches of Bebo have turned up another five ga...

Manitoba Hydro is on its deathbed. There, we said it.

Manitoba Hydro is on its deathbed. Oh, you won't find anyone official to say it. Yet . Like relatives trying to appear cheery and optimistic around a loved one that's been diagnosed with terminal cancer, the people in power are in the first stage of grief -- denial. The prognosis for Hydro was delivered three weeks ago at hearings before the Public Utilities Board where the utility was seeking punishingly higher rates for customers in Manitoba. It took us this long to read through the hundred-plus pages of transcript, to decipher the coded language of the witnesses, to interpret what they were getting at, and, finally, to understand the terrible conclusion.  We couldn't believe it, just as, we're sure, you can't--- so we did it all again, to get a second opinion, so to speak.  Hydro conceded to the PUB that it undertook a massive expansion program--- involving three (it was once four) new dams and two new major powerlines (one in the United States)---whi...

Nahanni Fontaine, the NDP's Christian-bashing, cop-smearing, other star candidate

As the vultures of the press circle over the wounded Liberal Party of Manitoba, one NDP star candidate must be laughing up her sleeve at how her extremist past has escaped the scrutiny of reporters and pundits. Parachuted into a safe NDP seat in Winnipeg's North End, she nonetheless feared a bruising campaign against a well-heeled Liberal opponent.  Ha ha.  Instead, the sleepy newspeeps have turned a blind eye to her years of vitriolic attacks on Christianity, white people, and police. * She's spent years  bashing Christianity  as the root cause of all the problems of native people in Canada. * She's called for  a boycott of white businesses . * And with her  Marxist research partner, she's  smeared city police as intransigent racists . Step up Nahanni Fontaine, running for election in St. John's riding as successor to the retiring Gord Macintosh. While her male counterpart in the NDP's galaxy of stars, Wab Kinew, has responded to the contro...

Exposing the CBC/WFP double-team smear of a hero cop

Published since 2006 on territory ceded, released, surrendered and yielded up in 1871 to Her Majesty the Queen and successors forever. Exposing the CBC/FP double-team smear of a hero cop Some of the shoddiest journalism in recent times appeared this long August weekend when the CBC and Winnipeg Free Press doubled teamed on a blatant smear of a veteran city police officer. In the latest example of narrative journalism these media outlets spun stories with total disregard for facts that contradicted the central message of the reports which, simplified, is: police are bad and the system is covering up. Let's start with the story on the taxpayer funded CBC by Sarah Petz that can be summed up in the lead. "A February incident where an off-duty Winnipeg officer allegedly knocked a suspect unconscious wasn't reported to the province's police watchdog, and one criminologist says it shows how flawed oversight of law enforcement can be." There you have it. A policeman, not ...

Winnipeg needs a new police chief - ASAP

When did the magic die? A week ago the Winnipeg police department delivered the bad news---crime in the city is out of control. The picture painted by the numbers (for 2018) was appalling. Robberies up ten percent in  a single year.  (And that was the good news.) Property crimes were up almost 20 percent.  Total crime was 33 percent higher than the five year average. The measure of violent crime in Winnipeg had soared to a rating of 161.  Only four years earlier it stood at 116. That's a 38 percent deterioration in safety. How did it happen? How, when in 2015 the police and Winnipeg's police board announced they had discovered the magic solution to crime? "Smart Policing" they called it.    A team of crime analysts would pore through data to spot crime hot-spots and as soon as they identified a trend (car thefts, muggings, liquor store robberies) they could call in police resources to descend on the problem a...