Somebody give the baby a crying towel. Supersized.
Grammy loser Rob Wilson is boo-hoo-hooing all over town about being stopped by police and accused at gunpoint of driving a stolen car, which turned out to be his own and not stolen.
The beefy Christian rapper says he's a po' victim of racial profiling because he's a beefy black man driving a fancy car.
Tip to you Fresh I.E., du-u-ude. If you go out of your way to cultivate the image of a thug, to dress like a thug right down to the stupid backward baseball cap, to drive around with a yout' 15 years your junior riding shotgun and wearing shades like a thug, you shouldn't be surprised to be treated like a thug.
And man up, for Christ sakes.
The first thing the 35-year-old man-boy Wilson did is go crying to his wifey, who turns out to be CBC employee Sheila North Wilson. And the next thing you know, CBC has an "exclusive" about Robbie's run-in with the big bad po-leece.
The CBC radio item said Wilson's passenger--"a youth he mentors"--was handcuffed after being ordered out of Fresh I.E.'s car. Why the cuffs? Well, the reporter never though to ask.
Nor has it come out, until now, that 20-year-old Alex Smerchyunski is a little more than "a youth he mentors". He's Wilson's step-daughter's boyfriend. He says he has no criminal record, and we believe him, so why the bracelets? Too much attitude, perhaps?
Police said Friday that officers at a downtown Starbucks became suspicious of Wilson, not because of his ebony profile, but because he went through the drive-through a second time (to fetch a forgotten java, we're now told). It was just unusual enough for one of the officers to phone in for a check on Wilson's licence plate. A staff member ran it through a police computer and "misinterpreted" what came up on the screen, Police Chief Keith McCaskill said. The officers thought they had a stolen car in their sights, so they arranged for the take-down.
Friday they apologized.
The traumatized Rob Wilson was last seen posing for the press with his baby girl's boyfriend. 'They're leaning against Fresh's car. Their arms are crossed over their chests and Wilson delivers his best thug-menace glare for his homies in da hood. Or for wifey's scrapbook.
Note to Teenage Head, Iron Maiden and the rest of the geezer bands touring the country and stopping in Winnipeg...
Shoulder length hair doesn't make you look young-at-heart. It makes you look OLD and CREEPY like Chester the Molester.
Face it. You're not going to pull any chicks looking like a grandfather in a wig.
The stomach turns.